In a culture that glorifies speed, urgency, and constant productivity, slowing down can feel uncomfortable.
For many people, it even feels unsafe.
We are taught to push through discomfort, override our bodies, and “get on with it.” But the nervous system does not heal through force. It heals through trust.
And trust takes time.
The Nervous System Cannot Be Rushed
The nervous system controls how deeply we are able to receive sensation and pleasure.
When someone has lived for years in high alert, stress, or emotional contraction, their system adapts by staying vigilant.
That vigilance might look like:
a racing mind
shallow breathing
difficulty relaxing
needing to stay in control
checking out when things become intense
These patterns are not flaws. They are survival strategies.
And survival strategies don’t disappear just because someone wants to relax.
They soften when the body senses consistency, patience, and choice.
Why Slowness Feels So Vulnerable
Slowing down removes distractions.
When there is less stimulation, less talking, and fewer external demands, the body becomes more audible. Sensations, emotions, and memories that were previously held at bay may begin to surface.
For many people, this is unfamiliar territory.
Going slow asks the nervous system to stay present instead of escaping. And presence requires safety.
This is why slowness, when done intentionally, becomes one of the most powerful healing tools.
Tantra Is a Practice of Presence, Not Performance
Tantra is often misunderstood as something indulgent or indulgent-seeking. In reality, Tantra is a mindfulness-based practice that trains awareness in the body.
It is not about chasing sensation.
It is about meeting what is already here.
In Tantra massage, slowness is not an absence of depth. It is what allows depth to arrive without overwhelm.
When touch is paced for the nervous system, the body doesn’t have to brace or prepare. It can simply respond honestly.
How Slowing Down Supports Healing
In a slow, consent-led session, the body begins to learn something new:
That it will not be rushed
That pauses are allowed
That sensations can rise and fall naturally
That nothing is being demanded
This creates a sense of internal permission.
This is why consent-based pacing is foundational to this work.
And with permission, the nervous system downshifts.
Breath deepens.
Muscles soften.
Awareness settles into the present moment.
From here, pleasure becomes grounding rather than activating.
Slowness Rebuilds Trust
Many people don’t realize how much distrust they carry in their bodies until someone invites them to slow down without expectation.
Trust is rebuilt when the body experiences consistency over time. When “no” is honored. When pacing adapts to what is actually happening, not what is imagined or assumed.
This is not dramatic work.
It is quiet. It is subtle. And it is profoundly effective.
Healing Is Not About Speed
Real healing does not arrive on a schedule.
It arrives when the body feels safe enough to stay.
Slowing down is not avoidance.
It is not resistance.
It is wisdom.
And when slowness is met with skill, presence, and care, it becomes the doorway back into sensation, connection, and embodied peace.
my Tantra-informed bodywork practice in Los Angeles
With gratitude and grace,
