A lot of people think pleasure is something you “get better at.”
Like it’s a skill. A trick. A performance.
But the truth is simpler and much more human than that.
Your ability to experience pleasure is directly connected to one thing:
How safe your nervous system feels.
If your body is bracing, guarded, or on alert, pleasure won’t land deeply.
It might spike for a moment, but it won’t soften into something nourishing.
Because the nervous system cannot fully surrender while it’s scanning for danger.
Pleasure Deepens When the Body Stops Bracing
Bracing isn’t always obvious.
Sometimes it looks like:
holding your breath without realizing it
staying tense even when you “want to relax”
overthinking what you’re supposed to feel
needing to stay in control because letting go feels risky
going numb when sensation increases
None of this means something is wrong with you.
It simply means your system has learned that vigilance = protection.
And in Tantra massage, we don’t shame that response.
We work with it gently.
Tantra Massage Is a Practice of Safety Before Sensation
In my sessions, I’m not trying to pull pleasure out of the body.
I’m creating the conditions where your body can remember how to feel.
That begins with:
slowing down
clear consent and pacing
attuned touch
warm presence
and an environment that supports safety
Consent-led pacing is one of the most powerful tools for nervous system safety.
When safety is real, the breath changes.
The muscles soften.
The mind gets quieter.
And that’s when sensation becomes honest.
Presence Is What Allows Pleasure to Heal Instead of Overwhelm
There’s a kind of pleasure that’s intense but destabilizing.
And there’s a kind of pleasure that leaves you deeply settled, regulated, and nourished.
The difference is presence.
Presence is what turns sensation into integration.
It’s what helps your body stay with what it feels, without rushing, gripping, or bypassing.
And when pleasure is held this way, it can become a profound healing force.
Not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically too.
You Don’t Have to Perform Here
One of the biggest things people unlearn in this work is performance.
You don’t need to “be good” at receiving.
You don’t need to react a certain way.
You don’t need to rush toward an outcome.
You only need one thing:
A willingness to listen to your body’s truth.
Because when the nervous system feels safe enough to tell the truth,
the entire experience becomes real.
And that’s where deeper pleasure lives.
This is the foundation of my pleasure-based, Tantra-informed bodywork practice in Los Angeles.
This philosophy is also upheld within Sensaura Sanctuary, where professionalism, ethics, and care come first.
